I am the type of girl that listenes to alot of metal. Guys like Korn, Manson, Metallica,Lamb of God, Black sabbath etc. She said that this is the devils music. She insults me and gets on to me evedyday.... its like a never ending cycle and my self esteem has always been low. Everytime I see her i feel like im about to hurl myself into a brick wall. As most people know... Having someone that doesnot understand you emotionally and mentally can hurt. Is like she does not even see me. I have issues like sleep paralysis and sometimes sleep walking and she said that its all in my head. A few nights ago basically called me crazy. Now i know im not crazy but im not 100% awseome either. Its just stress ontop of stress and I am getting tired. I can even get something like a bass guitar without her shooting my idea to the ground. I feel sad and depressed all the time . She kept me sheltered most of my life and she expects me to me perfect.
Im a freak on a leash at school. Most of the girls look at me funny and say mean stuff. The guys do things that i just cant talk about. I wear alot of baggy clothes, black clothes, heavy eyeliner and have black fingernails. This is just my style and she does not approve of it. Lately she has been a little mean everyday. She does not like how my future is looking and she is always nagging. No care for feelings. I want to get dreads soon and have earings like tapers and tunnels but she says thats for guys, i will look like the devil, etc.
All of these things on my back plus high school starting back in a few weeks is not a fun thought in my head. Its just stress