ajgrl57 (ajgrl57) wrote in crazymothers,

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Too much to handle any more...

I am a 22 year old female. Ever since I can remember I have always been physically and mentally abused by my mother. When I am home my mother doesn't call me by my name, it's either bitch, whore, mother fucker, etc. Because of my mother I have low self esteem issues. Since I was little I was old that I was fat and ugly. No guy would want some whore like me. Most people don't understand why I believe what she says, but to be consistently told this for 15 years you can't help but believe it. 
My mother has had my two sisters and I go through horrible depression. Both of my sisters have been on anti depressants. I refuse to go on them. My older sister is a pathologic liar, my other sister was anorexic, and I cut myself. My mother gets glory to see us suffer. She breaks us down and smiles and gets happy about it. She wants nothing good for us. The moment something good comes our way... she destroys it. She takes money from us all the time and other things as well.
I personally can not handle it any more. I'm beyond tired of dealing with all the drama. I'm a good person and I refuse to be anything like her. I came here to avoid my temptations of cutting myself. Writing calms me down which gets rid of my urges.

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