jonah (totallysofast) wrote in crazymothers,

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Hi, I just joined. I'm 25 and living in Chicago.

Well, my mother is crazy. Long story short, I was born out of wedlock when she was 22. She wasn't too bad for the first few years except for the fact that she molested me. Then when I was 8 she married my step-father, Steve and started losing it. We began moving every nine months, they started pulling cons. There were several times when they literally woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to put my crap in bags because we're moving. Life in hotels, strange cities, shelters, all of that was normal to me. Religion was always in our life but not normal religion. My mother always had to put her own little twist on every thing we practiced. We started out United Methodist. Then she got into the occult and I remember them hosting sceances in the living room and speaking in tongues. I learned to cast runes and read tarot at the age of nine. Then, metaphysics were suddenly satanic! She gathered all of her things and burned them in a pile in the back yard, one fall day in Edmund, Oklahoma. After that we were Episcipalian, "Catholic," Unitarian, and then she made the jump to non-denominational churches. Those big warehouse churches, you know? Around this time things were really, really tense. I came out as queer when I was 14. That prompted her to find religion, and how. The last four years of my life at home were hell. After I left home (kicked out actually, the day after I graduated high school) they became Jews for Jesus.

Have I mentioned yet that my mother is an untreated schizophrenic and an alcoholic?

She started thinking she was a prophet, the voice of God. She also was obsessed with aliens and getting abducted. I'm 25, but sometimes I still have to sleep with the lights on because of the constant (while unrealistic) fears of something "getting me" in the dark.

When I was 19 they kidnapped me. They decided to move from Elkhorn, NE to Dove Creek, CO. I told them I'd drive the uhaul because my mom had just had another kid and my dad had to drive the car. They promised it'd only be a week and they'd have me back in Omaha (Elkhorn is a suburb of Omaha, Nebraska). We get there, I'm there a week and there's no talk of anybody taking me back to Nebraska. In fact, they think that maybe I should quit my job in Omaha and get a job in Dove Creek and stay. I say no to this of course and they promise to get me back the following week. I call my job and tell them this and promptly get fired. This goes on. As I realize that they have no intentions of taking me back, I try depserately to get a friend or someone to come get me. I had no money for a plane ticket and they weren't about to help me with that. Once they found out I was trying to get home they grounded me from the internet and phone. It all came to a head one day and I ran out of the house and was going to walk to town to use the phone. they didn't think i'd actually do it so they let me go. After 2 of the 5 miles were down, the Sherrif of Dove Creek saw me and knew something was up. I was afraid to tell him the whole story so i just said I was out for a walk. I used a payphone to call my biological father and arranged a day for me to freak out to avoid going to church with them and he'd come out to the house to get me. He drove from Iowa to get me. On the day he came, he came with the same sherrif that had given me a ride that day. He said he knew something was up. I was there for three months, in complete isolation from the outside world, basically confined to the house. I was so afraid of her that I did as I was told because, you know, black eyes suck.

Now she and my step father are in rural Oklahoma, in complete isolation. They took the kids out of school years ago but they don't homeschool. The kids just don't learn. And in Oklahoma, the laws on homeschooling don't require testing.

When I was 13 I developed a nasty eating disorder. At 5'5" I went down to 80 pounds. She refused to take me to the doctor. She just let me waste away. She said I had demons in me.

The final straw was when she took my dying grandfather to Oklahoma and took his money. She spend $20,000 of his dollars and has no records of what she bought. Then when he died, she had him secretly buried.

I don't talk to them anymore. They disowned me. I worry about the other kids though. They are 15, 11 and 5. Sweet as pie, those babes. I know because I raised them. Mom was too busy drinking and scamming people to raise her children, cook or clean. It was done by me.

I can't write anymore. There's so much more but this is making me really upset.
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